fun4children - Jokes and Riddles

What did the calendar name his daughters?

APRIL, MAY, JUNE

What did the dollar name his daughter?

PENNY

Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

HE HEARD IT WAS A HIGH SCHOOL

Why are there only 25 letters at Christmas Time?

BECAUSE THERE'S NOEL.
NO - L, GET IT!

Why do baseball players often play at night?

BECAUSE THE BATS SLEEP IN THE MORNING

Why can`t a man living in Mexico be buried in Canada?

BECAUSE HE'S STILL ALIVE

What did the cow say to the farmer?

Moooooo

Why shouldn't you tell a joke while ice fishing?

THE ICE MIGHT CRACK UP!

Where do the ghosts swim?

IN THE DEAD SEA

What's the most musical piece of a turkey?

What did the breeze say to the screen?

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

Where are the biggest diamonds in the world?

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

What did the children say to the teacher when she said
"Order, order, order in the room?"

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

What kind of bread do elves use?

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

What kind of tree grows on your hand?

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

When are feet on your face?

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

What do cows do for fun?

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

What's scary and carries swords?

(Thanks to Akanksha, Abu Dhabi, UAE)

What does a cow and a tornado make?

(Thanks to Lily, New Orleans,LA)

How do you catch a squirrel on a tree?

(Thanks to Arjun, Melbourne,Australia)

What do you call a flying skunk?

(Thanks to Isabella, Lawrenceville, Georgia)

Boy:	Mommy.
Mom:	Yes.
Boy:	I don't want to go to school today.
Mom:	Why not?
Boy:	Because first she said 2 + 3 = 5, then she said 4 + 1 = 5.
Mom:	So what's wrong?
Boy:	She won't make up her mind!

(Thanks to Isabella, Lawrenceville, Georgia)

If you were locked in a room with nothing in it but a bed and a calendar, how could you eat and drink?

(Thanks to Alexis, Charlotte, NC, for the following 12 riddles)

What's in the church, but not in the steeple;
the minister has it, but not the people?

When should you go to bed?

What bet can never be won?

What kind of coat can easily be put on wet?

First we see a big red mill;
by the mill there is a walk;
at the end of the walk there is a key.
What is it?

What kind of driver never gets a speeding ticket?

Why is a dog in an automobile like a floor covering?

What is the best kind of nut to eat when you have a cold?

Why did the kid jump out of the window?

What kind of driver never gets a speeding ticket?

Why did the little man tip toe past the medicine cabinet?

(Thanks to Alexis, Charlotte, NC)

Why did the banana go to the Doctor?

(Thanks to Rob, Oregon)

Why did the kids wear their swimsuits to school?

Two men were robbing a building. The cops came.
The first guy said, "Jump out the window."
The second guy said, "But we're on the 13th floor!!"
The first guy said, "This is no time to be superstitious."

(Thanks to Michelle, Roswell, GA)

Why didn't the banana cross the road?

(Thanks to Lucky, Roswell, GA)

"Railroad Crossing Watch Out for The Cars,"
can you spell that without any R's?

(Thanks to Summer, Gray, Louisiana)

What did Cinderella Dolphin wear to the ball?

(Thanks to Jake, Cumming, GA)

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

(Thanks to Brittany, Cumming, GA)

There was a one storey house, and everything was blue. The grass was blue. The brick was blue. The people and their cars were blue. Their beds were blue. Their clothes were blue, and their food was blue. What color were the stairs?

(Thanks to Staci, Kenner, Louisiana)

What did the elephant call when he hurt his toe?

(Thanks to Imelda, Los Angeles, California)

Why are skunks so smart?

(Thanks to Mc, Montreal)

What is a ghost's favorite breakfast?

What kind of food keeps you from being on time?

There's a boy named Sam, and he had a younger brother named Noah. What state or island did they live or come from?

(Thanks to Imuy, The Island Of Palau)

Why did the turtle cross the road?

Greta: My mom says that I'm the one that gets to choose my new school clothes this year.
Regreta: Oh, really? My dog's the one that chews mine!

(Thanks to Lindi, FL)

What is black and white and red all over?

(Thanks to Lily, New Orleans)

What vegetable is the saddest vegetable of all that makes you cry?

(Thanks to Luisa Filomena)

What is a dentist's favorite instrument?

(Thanks to Lindsey, Arabi, Louisiana)

The person who makes it doesn't use it.
The person who buys it doesn't use it.
The person who uses it doesn't know they're using it.
What am I?

(Thanks to Corey, Poland Ohio)

Why do fish like SALT water?

(Thanks to Hayley, Ormond Beach)

What do cats eat at parties?

(Thanks to Benjamin, Round Rock, Texas)

What do you use to cut through the ocean?

(Thanks to Thomas, Round Rock, Texas)

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the basketball team?

(Thanks to Denise, Massachusetts)

What do frogs drink?

(Thanks to Chicybabe, Australia)

There is a green house and a blue house and a white house. The green house is on the right, the blue house is on the left, where is the white house?

(Thanks to Britt, MD)

There was an electric train going to the north. In which direction does the smoke go, to the north or south?

(Thanks to Mirnakins, Emirates)

What do whales chew?

(Thanks to Charlotte, Singapore)

Why did the man throw the clock over the hill?

(Thanks to Tyrone, New Orleans)

What do you call Batman and Robin when they get run over by a bus?

(Thanks to Benjamin, Round Rock, Texas)

What part of the tree was the cat scared of?

(Thanks to Thomas, Round Rock, Texas)

Cowboy: Why did you go buy a dachshund?
City Slicker: Someone said get a long little doggy!

(Thanks to Michelle, Schertz)

What is black and white and read all over?

(Thanks to Michelle, Schertz)

I am here but as soon as you say my name... I am gone?

(Thanks to Claire, Ottawa, Canada)

Where does the Easter Bunny dance?

(Thanks to Stephen, Ohio)

How can you get a refund on a football game?

(Thanks to Olivia, Clayton, CA)

Why was the number 10 afraid of the number 7?

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

(Thanks to Kristen, Upland, CA)

What's funny about Chichies squared glases?

(Thanks to Aylen, Miami, Florida)

How do waves say "Hello"?

(Thanks to Vanessa, IL)

What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

(Thanks to Crystal, Saginaw, Minnesota)

What do you call 2 bananas?

(Thanks to Claire, Ottawa)

What do you call a flying skunk?

(Thanks to Michael, Freehold,N.J.)

A rooster layed an egg on a house like this /\. Which way did the egg roll?

(Thanks to Chris, New Jersey)

How did the fisherman get the fish out of his school?

Who is the most famous singing snack?

What do unbalanced people use in their compute?

(Thanks to Dusan, Valporaiso)

How do you catch a blue elephant?
How do you catch a pink elephant?

(Thanks to Becky, Palm Coast)

Who is the king of corn?

(Thanks to Sagar, Linden, New Jersey)

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